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I believe that there isn't just one way to explore in the world. The country needs to the development of non-stop, we need to explore non-stop. Exploration is important for countries. For example, exploration can develop very fast to a country, to promote the friendship between the countries and make people's lives affluent in this country.
Exploration can develop very fast to a country. I think the country has many things. For example, have a government, economy and nation. If we want to country is strong. The country needs to incessant develop, so the country incessantly develops, just need to incessantly explore. The country needs to everybody effort. Therefore, the country develops very fast with the exploration after.
Exploration can promote the friendship between countries. If just have a country explores, it can’t have a bigger development. I think a country needs to cooperate towards that end and mutually help. Not only assist the development of our country, but also live in friendship with other countries, that didn’t have war. Therefore, exploration can to promote the friendship between the countries, because the country more necessary to peace. Have a peace; there will be a good development. This is conducive to exploration.
Exploration can make people's lives affluent in this country. If the country has explorations, it will develop, so people have good lives. If a country is very affluence, so many people all are rich in this country. The country will give each person many benefits. Therefore, the country won't have wars, because people all have good lives. I think the country there is no internal conflict; it rarely conflicts with other countries. The country has a good development, will be a strong country.
Exploration can develop very fast to a country, to promote the friendship between the countries and make people's lives affluent in this country. We are learned Cabot and Cartier. They are all navigator. There are in order to explore for one owns country. Cabot’s death was in order to explore. Therefore, exploration is very important for countries. There are a lot of benefits for the country.
Keep on going,dear!
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meme..
Dear Candy,
回复删除You are improving your essay writing. Here are some things you NEED to have to get a good mark.
1. You need to have spaces between the paragraphs. i don't know where one paragraph begins and one ends. This is important for me to understand you know how to organize your essay.
2. Subject-verb agreement
"a country exploreS"
"the country needS"
Your forms of a verb. When do you use a noun? When do you use an adjective?
3. Each body paragraph needs to explain your idea.
For example...
Exploration can promote friendship between countries. This is a very good reason why exploration is important for a country but what do you mean by promote friendship? HOW does it promote friendship? You never explain how is exploration promoting friendship is connected to the idea of importance.
4. At the conclusion of your essay, you have one sentence about Cabot and Cartier. You never talk about them at all in your whole essay. You should not include something entirely new in your conclusion.
5. Try to use different ways to begin your sentence. Always using "Therefore..." is not enough. It is a great transitional word to use but it should not be always used.
Focus - 2.5/4
(You have an idea of what you are saying, but you don't explain)
Organization 2/4
(I don't know where one paragraph begins and one ends and your conclusion is not powerful enough. Make it interesting to read)
Content 2.5/4
(You write a lot but don't explain the topic in detail) Look at my comment 3.
Usage 2/4
Comment 5 and 2
"affluence" - noun
You cannot say "a country is affluence"
Use "affluent" to describe the country (adjective).
Total Mark 11/20 x2 = 22/40
I think you are doing better than before. Plan your ideas and have me check it in class. Remember I am always here to help. Don't be shy.